


Safe

by Riz



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 20:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2081988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riz/pseuds/Riz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The first time they shared a bed was back in third year..."</p><p>Some day they will have to talk about it, figure things out and put words to whatever it is they have. For now, they keep the nightmares at bay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe

The first time they shared a bed was back in third year. After a particularly unpleasant full moon Remus woke from a nightmare, shivering and gasping for breath, to find Sirius at his bedside leaning over him with a look of utter concern. Caught with his defences down it was all Remus could do to keep the tears back as the other boy clutched him tight, swaying softly from side to side as he calmed down. He woke the morning after to find Sirius Black still asleep by his side. 

In an unspoken agreement both boys went on with their lives without mentioning this incident. Remus resumed his happy, carefree façade, determined to be a good friend and not push his own troubles on his roommates. Sirius had his own issues to deal with, and standing at the gate of puberty he was quite certain a conversation on the topic would raise more questions than either of them were comfortable answering. Nevertheless, when Remus woke from yet another violent nightmare a couple of months later Sirius was right there by his bedside, pulling him close. There was no need, Remus figured, to further question the blessed feeling of safety provided by the other boy’s presence. If James and Peter, both notoriously bad morning people, ever noticed they said nothing.

And so they continued throughout their years at Hogwarts, until the fateful incident in sixth year after which Sirius was barely welcome in the dormitory, never mind any bed but his own. When they finally made up Sirius was still hesitant to approach his friend during his now very rare nightmares, fearing to further hurt the boy’s pride. 

\---

Remus shivered and pulled the heavy blankets tighter around himself. Number 12 Grimauld Place was magically heated to a comfortable temperature, but there was a dark, sinister feel to the place that gave him chills. This was his first night in the house, and he was already looking forwards to the Weasleys moving in to help with the much needed clean up, and hopefully fill the old place with some life and cheer. Sirius had become increasingly glum staying here alone, and though Dumbledore had given Remus’ economic situation as the reason when suggesting he might want to permanently relocate to the new headquarters it was the pleadingly hopeful look in his old friend’s eyes that had made him overcome the pride that might have stopped him agreeing. He was fairly certain that had been the headmaster’s intention all along.

He was still somewhat nervous about how it would all play out. Sirius being innocent and miraculously coming back into his life was a bigger blessing than he could have dreamt of. Just the thought of it still made his heart swell, and Remus would not hesitate to go through hell and back to keep him safe and happy this time. He owed him that much and more. Still, the years had left their mark on both men, and it would not have been possible to just let it all go and pick up where they left of, even if Sirius had not been hunted by the majority of wizarding society and forced to stay on the run. They had exchanged coded letters and visited whenever possible, slowly getting to know one another again, becoming comfortable in each other’s presence. Suddenly living together in the same house again would be a huge leap, but there was no guarantee it would be in the right direction. 

Even so, there was never any question of leaving his friend on his own in this cursed place. Sirius had loudly complained about needing to get out for years before he finally ran away, but he’d always been hesitant to elaborate much on the details of his life here, claiming such things were better left unspoken and forgotten. Few things had made young Sirius lose that ever-present smile and the twinkle in his eyes, but mentions of his home life would turn his mood dark and broody, and the rest of the marauders soon learned to avoid the subject. Remus had learned enough to know that Sirius was currently stuck in the one place in the world he would least like to be short of Azkaban, and he’d be damned if he was going to let the man suffer through it alone this time. 

The blankets were thick and warm but in this place, rather than providing any kind of comfort, they seemed heavy and suffocating. Remus tossed and turned, attempting in vain to find sleep in that too big bed. He was at the point of finally drifting of when he was startled awake by a low shriek ripping though the heavy wooden walls. He was halfway out if bed before sinking down again in a sleepy daze, assuming it must be Buckbeak. The hippogriff was not a big fan of being stuck in the house either, and would regularly make the fact known. But as a second and then third cry sounded, Remus realised no Hippogriff could be making those wretched sounds. 

He quickly and silently got to his feet, wrapping a robe around himself and keeping his wand at the ready. The sounds were indeed coming from Sirius’ room. If the other man was somehow injured or ill they would be hard pressed to find him a healer. Remus knew a fair amount of healing magic of course but…no, that couldn’t be. He’d been completely fine just hours ago, cracking jokes about watching out for pixies as they turned in for the night. 

Sirius had opted to stay in his old room. Remus carefully peaked in the door and was greeted by walls decorated in fading red and gold, like a gryffindor quidditch pep rally had exploded in the centre of the room and been permanently spelled stuck everywhere. Which wasn’t all that far from what had actually happened. Sirius had been very pleased to see his parents had never been able to get rid of his “farewell present”, and that the room had thus stood mostly unused since he left at 16. 

The man in question was laying quietly on the right side of a king-size bed in the middle of the room, his shoulder-length dark hair spread in a tangled fan across his pillow. Except for the rise and fall of his chest with every breath he was completely still. Remus stayed there for a few moments, watching his sleeping friend until he was almost sure he had been imagining things. He was just turning to go, closing the door quietly so as to not to wake the other man, when he heard another sound and froze. After a few moments it came again.  
A whimper, low, scratchy and painful, escaped Sirius’ lips. It seemed forced, as if even in sleep the man was trying to hold it back, to stay quiet. Even so, the whimpers continued, sometimes building into low, anguished moans.

Remus stayed in the doorway, uncertain of what to do. He wanted to comfort his friend, but would Sirius want comforting? In their youth they had hugged, leaned on each other, even sometimes held hands without thinking anything of it. Now, after that first happy embrace, they had not become as comfortable with casual physical contact, neither being completely certain where the other, or even they themselves, stood on the matter. Sirius had always been an intensely physical person, craving contact whenever he could get it. But these days he worked hard on putting on a strong, happy façade. To the rest of the order he would be a survivor, a strong man that emerged victorious from his struggles, one that could defeat is demons and be useful again. He wanted to be an agent of the order and a guardian and protector for Harry. He needed, Remus knew, to feel free from his past, in the eyes of the world as well as himself, and he might not want his nightmares known. Yet even knowing all this Remus could not bring himself to close the door on his friend and leave him to ride out the misery alone. 

The moans escalated to yet another sore shriek, and Remus found himself halfway across the room before he could even think. Sirius’s body was convulsing, his blankets tossed off and low, insistent sounds of pleading and denial interrupted only by heavy gasps of breath. Any remaining doubts faded away as Remus heard his own name called in a quiet whimper. He was at his friend’s side so quick he might as well have apparated, carefully reaching out to grab his hand without startling him further.

Sirius, seeming oblivious to his presence, kept writhing, crumpling the white sheets underneath him. Remus leaned over him and softly placed a hand on his shoulder, careful not to do anything that might seem confining and thus set of further panic. 

“Shhh, it’s ok. It’s ok Sirius. It’s me, Remus. It’s Moony, remember. You’re safe, I won’t let them take you. Never again. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.” 

He kept on whispering softly, and slowly Sirius seemed to calm down. Eventually he lay still, his breath growing less erratic. Remus let out a small, relieved sigh. He sat there a few moments, absentmindedly stroking Sirius’ hand with his thumb, reminded of the times in their youth their roles had been reversed. If he could provide Sirius with just a little bit of the safety he himself had gotten he would be grateful, and he hoped that if his friend remembered in the morning it would not be enough to break the shaky pride that helped hold him together these days.

Still, it might be better not to take that chance. Remus began to rise, pulling away from the bed only to be halted by a feeble grip on his hand. Looking down he met the wide, bloodshot eyes of Sirius Black. For a moment they stared at each other in silence, then Sirius spoke, his words low and shaky.

“Please…” he pleaded, then looked down in defeat, as if ashamed by the words leaving his mouth but unwilling to stop them “please, don’t go”. 

At that moment Albus Dumbledore himself could not have persuaded Remus Lupin to leave his friend’s side. In an instant he was sat back down, pulling Sirius in to let the other man’s head rest on his shoulders and holding him tight in his arms until silent shakes no longer interrupted his breathing.

\---

The next morning none of them mentioned how Remus had awoken in Sirius’ bed, still clutching his friend tight. They didn’t talk about it when, after the fourth night of being awoken by screams from the other room, Remus quietly moved his bed from the guest room into the corner of Sirius’. None of them brought it up when Remus stopped using his own bed altogether, not even when Sirius’ nightmares finally grew less frequent. One day they would have to talk about it, to figure things out and put words to it. Until then, with a new war raging around them, they would sleep and find at least some measure of safety.

**Author's Note:**

> All my love for these two. I have a lot of ships, but none bigger or closer to my heart. For me this is the start of a relationship, but feel free to read it as strong friendship, whatever floats your boat.
> 
> And while I'm all for the "puppy love" version of events I also find it quite interesting to consider them only taking their relationship further as adults, after the reunion. So here is my take one how that might have started. I imagine some delicious smut might come of this storyline, though I'm not quite sure I'll ever be up for actually writing that. 
> 
> This is just a quick story I thought of, and it's not as polished as it could be. I'm still very new to writing fanfics, so any feedback is greatly appreciated. English is my second language, so if you notice any mistakes or if anything doesn't read/sound/flow quite right, please let me know!


End file.
